Soccer Chicks

Steve finds it funny that I very commonly call girls "chicks." I'm pretty sure I picked up the term and usage from my dad. Be sure, coming from me, it is in no way derogatory. It's just a fun word. And I've got two little chicks who are tearing it up on the soccer field. All of you with little kiddos, this is when it starts really getting fun (my opinion). Take that with a grain of salt from one who is a huge fan of organized sports. They can understand the game and play it pretty darn well. Rylee has scored 6 goals in 3 games, and Gabby just scored her first last weekend. That is quite a feat for her, since she plays in the older and more competitive division. She really likes playing goalee because "then I don't have to run so much and I can just wait around." Rylee is actually "playing up" too, since her birthday is past the deadline, but she would have either been super bored or killed the younger kids. I'm very proud of her for last week's game when she had a sweet pass for an assist. She tends to be a little of a ball hog if left to her own devices, so I keep having to instill passing into her brain. Here's a few action shots - I need to find my good camera, because this one is too slow and I'm way behind the action. This was before this camera got soaked and now doesn't take pictures....DUH!

Number 1 Fan

Shhh...Don't Tell My Grandmas

The littlest Bennecke has recently joined the middle child in devious behavior. Like her, he always does it with a grin on his face and a little giggle. His grandmothers might be less than proud at the pictures below. But mommy can't help but love his "boy-ness" and curiosity.

Last post I described the "jail break" where C.J. bolts for the stairs and climbs like crazy. Here he is mid-break, again with the silly grin.

This is a classic picture of what happens when mommy has to go to the bathroom. I left him unattended for like 3 minutes. I come out of the bathroom and things are just too quiet. At first I figured he'd done another jail break, but then I heard the giggle. I rounded the corner in the kitchen to find him sitting next to the bread drawer with a bag of bread open and dumped on the floor. He was mid-slice and giggling again. He had taken a good sized bite out of each piece!

Yesterday, I finally got out in the garden to start fall clean up, which may end up being a major digging job. My garden is a disaster. I never realized how invasive morning glories can be. I left things alone for a couple weeks and they are overtaking everything. So C.J. wanted to come help. Lets just say he likes dirt. Pica would be the technical term. I told you you'd be proud, grammy!

Whining, Wonderful Kids

This past weekend, it rained like over 10 inches thanks to Hurrican Ike. I was unaware that in Michigan we had hurricanes, but now I'm a believer. Thanks to this great weather, we spent way too much time indoors and in close proximity. My children nearly drove me out into the rain in search of solace.
Gabby has this newfound obsession with tornados. This began last week as a result of a tornado drill at school. Since that time, there has not been a night that she hasn't gone to bed either crying or very concerned about what we would do in the event of a tornado. She's even asked me several times to watch the news so she can check the weather. (This coming from a girl who barely knows there is anything on TV besides cartoons, Zack and Cody, and Hannah Montana). So I've tried to be the comforting, reassuring mom. I've shared with her about my fear of a house fire when I was her age. I've explained that tornados are extremely rare in our area, and there hasn't been a big one in Kalamazoo since before I was born. We've discussed our emergency plan in the very unlikely event of a tornado. I finally feel like we're making headway. Then Saturday evening Steve was watching football. All of a sudden, the meteorologist breaks into the game with those loud beeps and dramatic music of a weather update. You guessed it, we're under a tornado warning. Two twisters have touched down about 30 miles from us. Gabby is freaked! I hate it when the weather people are so darn dramatic. There was really nothing to worry about, the storm had already done the main damage by the time they even made the warning. So now it's back to like square one with Gabby and her fear. Tonight I probably did a bad thing, but I got really annoyed by all the whining and constant referrals to tonados. I told her I don't want to hear another word about it! I swear the next sentence out of her mouth went like this, "I'm not talking about you-know-what, but if one comes, will the roof come off of my room too?" Arrgh! Any other ideas from smart parents out there?

Then there's Rylee. Ah, my dear girl, you too may drive me to drink...a lot. I did not realize it was possible for a human child to talk back to every sentence or even sentence fragment that their parent or other adult speaks. She spends so much time retorting to things I say, that she never takes the time to actually listen and comprehend what it even is that I'm saying. It's fun that she's a hundred-mile-an-hour type of person, but ya gotta listen, too. I actually feel like I'm a very patient parent - Steve says too patient. I have a feeling her current stage may require some behavior modification. Time outs are not working real well at bringing about change. Privledge removal is more of a burden on me than her. Spanking I feel I want to "save" for larger misbehavior. So I'm thinking vinegar - a.k.a. sassy spray - that a friend told me about. I tried it tonight and it may just be brilliant. The only downfalls are consistency on my part and having said spray on hand all the time. I have a feeling this would be frowned upon in the grocery store and other public establishments. From most parenting things I've read, the consistency thing is the most important in breaking bad behavior, so the ball's in my court.

My final whining child is poor C.J. Actually, he's just bum out of luck as he has like 6 teeth coming in all at once. In the past 2 days, 3 have actually come through. That brings his total to 5. He's pretty much a trooper about it. I think he tries to communicate his discomfort by playing in my mouth and pulling on my teeth. Either that or he will be the family's next dentist. He's getting around like crazy now, too. His favorite (my least) is climbing the stairs. He does it every chance he gets. We call it jail break. He sees the opening, plans his course, and crawls at break-neck speed over to the stairs. Then he begins climbing one by one. He looks back at whoever it is he's escaped from at each step and laughs as if to say "Ha Ha, look at me. I'm climbing the stairs!" He also figured out how to climb out of his crib already. Yeah, 10 months and the other day I'm in the kitchen and hear the thud-"Whaahh!!" combination. What's that? The girls are in the basement, dogs outside, Steve napping, C.J. napping. Upon investigation, there was a very surprised baby on the floor next to his crib!! Great, this should be fun!

Who ever thought being a parent was so much fun and so challenging all wrapped up in a bunch of love!

Invisible Woman

If you have a couple minutes, check out the video clip below. (Thanks Jess for passing it on). There is a purpose in all the mundane stuff we do as moms. Packing yummy lunches, making their bed even after you've tried to tell them 30 times to make it themself, soccer, gymnastics, horse-back riding, vacation Bible school, reading stories, making breakfast lunch and dinner, laundry, bath time, playing Old Maid too many times, more laundry, teaching to ride a bike, going on class trips, picking berries, bedtime cuddles and prayers, taking walks, watching movies, helping with homework, the list could go on. We do it for a great reason, girls!

Growing Too Fast

Ahh, school has come again. I remember when I was a kid I was always so excited for the first day of school that I couldn't sleep the night before. I'd go over in my mind all the cool new stuff I had packed in my new Strawberry Shortcake backpack and and the great stuff mom would pack in my shiny new lunch box. I pretty much knew all the people in my class b/c our school was so small we only had one class, and maybe we'd get one or two new kids each year if we were lucky. I remember my first bus ride - or what was supposed to have been. My mom drove me to the bus stop (which was actually quite a ways away, but the school was pretty far away). There were quite a few of us waiting there for the bus. Some of them were "big kids" like in 7th and 8th grade, a few middle year kids and then I was the sole kindergardner. We're talking 1983, so you can imagine the hairsprayed bangs on the girls and longer greasy-haired guys. I vaguely remember some terrible bold plaid prints. This was even before pegged jeans, stirrup pants, and MC Hammer pants! We waited and waited, but no bus ever showed up! There were enough adults there that they had to carpool us to North Christian. I ended up being like 1/2 hour late for my first day of school!! It wouldn't be my last time being late for something. Maybe that's where I learned it.

So fast forward to 2008. I now have two children in elementary school! I really can't believe a) I'm this old b) my kids are this old. Gabby is in first grade which means she finally goes to school all day. Rylee's in kindergarden in the afternoon every day. I'm not like one of those traumatized mothers who weeps when her children get on the bus, but I did feel a few pangs of sadness in realizing that stages of their lives are gone forever and they are growing up so fast. Both of them were pretty excited about starting school again. It's a whole new world compared to my elementary years. There are 5 first grade classes and 4 kindergarden. They send out a teacher request form in the spring, and I filled out our top 3 choices, but apparently this is just a formality to make parents feel like they have a say. I am now aware that this is a ruse and I have very little say which is not a good feeling. We didn't get any of our 3 choices for Gabby, in fact, we once again got the new teacher. This may turn out to be just fine, but last year it took her teacher a couple months to get settled in, and this year, her teacher only found out last week that she was switching schools. I was annoyed, but another mother in the same boat called and got the scoop on the newby and found out she's supposed to be really good. Gabby was relieved to find out she's in the same class as her best friend, that's all she cared about. Rylee has the same teacher Gabby had last year and is very comfortable living in her sister's footsteps. For the first day Gabby wanted to be taken to school and Rylee wanted to ride the bus. So I accomodated for both. My girls are growing up. There are times I really wish I could stop this process. But it's also incredible to see them mature and gain independence. Rylee didn't even wave good-by to me as I left her classroom (yes, I did put her on the bus, and then drove separate so I could see her to her class too:)). I'm so proud of you, girls!!

Summer's End

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

It has been such a bittersweet summer. I have cherished these days of playing outside, warm weather, pig roasts, catching fireflies and watching the stars, swimming, camping, and ice cream cones. There's been sadness, too. Steve and I are traveling to Portland, OR this weekend for Bridget's memorial service. Emotions are so close to the surface these days for both happiness and sadness. Usually I'm pretty good at being a tough guy. This month has definately led to a lot of growth.

At the beginning of August, Steve, the kids, and I traveled to the upper penninsula with friends from our small group Bible study and about 25 high schoolers. The trip was a biking trip with service projects interspersed. Going into this "adventure" both Steve and I were skeptical at best that this would be a positive experience. But God blessed us beyond what we could have dreamed. We camped at an amazingly beautiful and secluded location called "A Solitary Place." With only one shower and two toilets (one being a 5 gallon bucket in an outhouse) for about 35 people, we all had to learn patience and graciousness quickly. I would have expected a lot of complaints about the ruggedness, but I can honestly say there were none. Maybe we were silenced by the beauty that surrounded us. At night, there were "fireworks" in the sky without any bangs. The sky is so black that the stars litterally dance. One of the youth shared a devotion stressing that God knows each star and placed them in their exact locations, and this same God knows each of us by name and loves us so intensely.

There was lots of biking going on. Steve rode about 101 miles over the course of 3 days, with 66 miles being in one day - out to Whitefish Point which is on Lake Superior. Not having trained at all for this massive trip, he didn't figure he'd make it, but he did!! It was definately a test of perseverence and he learned to lean on others to make it. I rode the final 17 miles alongside him to draft and give him encouragement (that was the extent of my biking, I'm not a big fan:)) It's a great life lesson to realize how difficult it is to travel along alone, but when someone is riding by your side, holding you accountable and encouraging, you can do more than you imagined was possible. In between biking trips, we cut a lot of wood - many people and churches up there use wood as their sole source of winter heat, dry-walled for a handicapped man, helped with some projects at a crisis pregnancy center, and weeded a random business.

Being with the youth group kids was a ton of fun, too! I forget how much energy and intensity I had back then. They were great to interact with and watch as God worked on their hearts as well. I was so impressed by their servant hearts and their lack of complaining even when they were physically pushed to every limit.

So then you come home from this high experience and it's so easy to get caught back up the the daily grind and forget the amazing lessons learned. Steve and I both heard the Spirit's leading with such clarity on this trip, but then back at home there is so much noise I think we often miss that "still, small voice." It's a challenge to keep that roaring fire from becoming a smoldering ember. When Bridget passed away a few days after we got home, it was a test of faith and continues to be. I'm so thankful for those special days up north where God felt so close, so that when these difficult times pressed down, I can reflect on that trip.

In the last couple weeks, Steve and I both read the book "The Shack." It is a fictional book, but a unique and breathtaking view of the character of God, why He allows suffering, and His amazing love for us. This book was actually recommended to me by my aunt and uncle, who read it after Bridget had read it this spring - before even being diagnosed with cancer. It seems ironic and amazing to me that so many things have come full circle. But then maybe it's not just irony, but the hand of God at work in the world around me. I just want to have eyes, ears, and heart open to hear that "still, small voice."

Victory

Last night Bridget defeated cancer. She is now enjoying that eternal victory in heaven with Jesus.

Let me tell you, this is not without a lot of tears. Her fight touched my life in ways I wouldn't have expected. Although I was never super close to Bridget due to the fact they lived so far away, she had this amazing effect on those she came in contact with. The VanderMeulen clan has historically been pretty reserved and quiet - a perfect example of the Dutch Christian Reformed heritage we proudly carry on. But when Bridget joined the family several years ago, she brought dancing to the family - literally! I fondly remember her dancing round and round with Gabby singing and laughing with joy. She has now given our family an amazing legacy of her faith and courage through one of the toughest battles I could even imagine.

If you have the time, I really encourage you to check out Steve's journal page (the link is in my contacts list). Throughout this whole time, their desire is to see their trials be used to glorify God. Glorify God - what does that mean? I always kind of equated it with honoring Him or a form of praise/worship. But a couple weeks at church I was struck with the literal translation of the term glory/glorify and it means to reflect or shine a light on something so it can be seen more clearly. Bridget and Steve have definately been this kind of reflection. How can I live my life in more of a way that would make others see a reflexion of Christ through/in me? God has been doing some amazing things in Steve (as in hubbby not cousin) and my lives in the last few weeks. I'll get more into that at a later date.

I'll wrap up this tribute post with the song that is hopefully playing. I was driving to work this morning at 6am with tears streaming down my face. Why God? Couldn't you have used her more in life than in death? What will poor Steve do with no mommy for his little girls? How do you tell a 2 1/2 year old her mommy is never coming home? So many tough questions. But lately I have been reading through the book of Job. His sufferings were comparable to what Steve and Bridget have gone through. It wasn't because he was a bad person. In fact, it was due to his faith and love for God that Satan wanted to test Job's faith and God allowed it to occur. Job lost all his worldly possessions, his entire family, and was afflicted with terrible sickness. But through all these struggles he was able to say "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

So as I switched the radio station, this is the song that came on.

I really like the chorus that says "You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name." God doesn't make us think one way or another, we have a choice. That's the beauty of a relationship with Him, we have to choose to enter it and make daily choices to follow Him. So even though it is extremely difficult and against my human nature, I am choosing to say: Lord, you gave us a beautiful woman in Bridget and you allowed her to be taken away. Blessed be your glorious name!"